Trauma, PTSD & Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)

When the Past Still Feels Present

Trauma doesn't always stay neatly in the past.

You may know logically that something is over, yet your mind and body can sometimes respond as though the danger is still happening.

Perhaps you feel constantly alert, find it difficult to trust people or become overwhelmed by situations that don't seem to affect others in the same way.

You might experience intrusive memories, nightmares or strong emotional reactions. Or your experience may be quieter—a feeling of numbness, disconnection or never quite feeling safe.

Sometimes people come to counselling knowing they've experienced trauma.

Others arrive saying:

"I don't understand why I react the way I do."

Both are okay.

You don't need to have everything understood before coming to counselling.

What Can Trauma Feel Like?

Trauma can affect people in many different ways.

You might recognise:

• Feeling constantly alert or "on edge"

• Finding it difficult to relax

• Feeling unsafe even when you know you're not in danger

• Intrusive memories or nightmares

• Avoiding people, places or situations that remind you of what happened

• Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected

• Becoming overwhelmed by seemingly small situations

• Experiencing strong emotional or physical reactions to particular triggers

• Difficulty trusting other people

• Feeling shame or blaming yourself

• Struggling with relationships or intimacy

• Feeling detached from yourself or your surroundings

• Difficulty sleeping

• Irritability or anger

• Anxiety or panic

• Feeling as though you're always waiting for something to go wrong

Trauma doesn't look the same for everyone.

And two people can experience the same event very differently.

What matters isn't whether your experience seems "bad enough" compared with someone else's.

What matters is how it has affected you.

What Is Trauma?

We often think about trauma as a single frightening or life-threatening event.

It certainly can be.

Experiences such as accidents, violence, abuse, loss or other frightening events can have a significant emotional impact.

But trauma can also develop through experiences that happen repeatedly over time.

Growing up around unpredictability, emotional neglect, criticism, abuse, conflict or relationships where you didn't consistently feel safe can influence the way you learn to understand yourself, other people and the world around you.

Rather than asking:

"Why can't I just get over this?"

It can be more helpful to become curious about:

"What did I have to learn in order to cope with what was happening?"

"Sometimes the behaviours we criticise in ourselves began as ways of surviving experiences we didn't yet know how to understand."

PTSD and Complex PTSD

Some people who have experienced trauma may receive a diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD).

PTSD can develop following exposure to traumatic experiences and may involve symptoms such as re-experiencing aspects of what happened, avoidance and a continued sense of threat.

Complex PTSD can be associated with prolonged or repeated traumatic experiences and can also involve difficulties with emotional regulation, relationships and the way someone sees themselves.

You don't need to have a diagnosis to come to counselling.

Equally, if you've already received a diagnosis, it doesn't define who you are.

Our work can focus on your individual experience and how it affects your life today.

Trauma and the Nervous System

Trauma isn't only something we remember.

Our bodies can respond too.

When we experience danger, our nervous system is designed to help protect us.

You may be familiar with the idea of fight or flight, but our responses can also include freezing, shutting down or trying to keep ourselves safe by pleasing or appeasing other people.

These responses aren't choices or personal weaknesses.

They're protective responses.

The difficulty can come when our nervous system continues detecting threat long after the original danger has passed.

A tone of voice, an argument, someone becoming distant or even a particular smell or environment may trigger a reaction before you consciously understand why.

You might think:

"I know I'm safe, so why does my body react like this?"

Understanding your nervous system can help make sense of these experiences.

Rather than fighting against your responses, we can begin learning to recognise them and understand what your mind and body may be trying to communicate.

How I Work With Trauma

As an attachment-based integrative counsellor, I work relationally and at a pace that feels manageable for you.

Trauma counselling doesn't mean you have to arrive and immediately tell me everything that has happened.

You are in control of what you choose to share.

An important part of our work can initially be developing enough safety and trust within the therapeutic relationship for you to explore difficult experiences without feeling overwhelmed.

Depending on what you bring to counselling, we might explore:

• Experiences that continue to affect you

• Childhood and attachment relationships

• Triggers and emotional responses

• Shame and self-criticism

• Trust and relationships

• Boundaries

• Your sense of identity and self-worth

• Patterns you've developed to protect yourself

• Difficulties expressing your needs

• Fear of rejection or abandonment

• Feeling disconnected or emotionally numb

• How trauma affects your body and nervous system

We don't need to rush this process.

Sometimes understanding why you respond in a particular way can itself begin to reduce the shame surrounding that response.

Learning to Regulate Your Nervous System

Alongside exploring your experiences, we can look at practical ways of helping you recognise and respond to changes within your nervous system.

The aim isn't to teach you to simply "calm down".

Instead, we can develop greater awareness of what happens for you.

What does feeling safe feel like in your body?

How do you recognise when you're becoming overwhelmed?

What happens when you begin to shut down?

What helps you reconnect with the present?

Depending on your needs, we might explore practical tools such as:

• Grounding techniques

• Breathing and noticing the body

• Movement and exercise

• Spending time outside

• Sensory strategies

• Creating predictable routines

• Recognising triggers

• Developing boundaries

• Identifying people and places that help you feel safe

• Finding ways to reconnect when you notice yourself becoming overwhelmed or disconnected

Different things work for different people.

Together, we can explore what feels useful for you rather than expecting one technique to work for everyone.

Trauma, Attachment and Relationships

Trauma often affects more than our memories.

It can influence the way we experience relationships.

If relationships have previously been unpredictable, frightening or unsafe, closeness can sometimes feel complicated.

You might desperately want connection while simultaneously finding it difficult to trust.

You may worry about being abandoned, become highly sensitive to changes in another person's behaviour or find yourself withdrawing when relationships become emotionally close.

These responses can feel confusing.

Through an attachment-based approach, we can explore how earlier relationships may have shaped what you've learnt to expect from others.

The therapeutic relationship itself can also offer an opportunity to experience being heard, understood and accepted without having to hide parts of yourself.

"Healing from trauma isn't about forgetting what happened. It's about helping the past take up less space in the present."

Developing Compassion for the Person You Had to Become

One of the most painful parts of trauma can be the relationship we develop with ourselves.

You might criticise yourself for being anxious.

Feel ashamed of how you've responded.

Wonder why you stayed.

Question why you didn't react differently.

Or feel frustrated that something from years ago can still affect you today.

Counselling can help us begin looking at these experiences through a more compassionate lens.

Instead of:

"What's wrong with me?"

we can begin asking:

"What happened to me, and how did I learn to survive it?"

This doesn't mean allowing the past to define you.

It means understanding yourself within the context of your experiences.

You Don't Have to Tell Your Whole Story

One concern people sometimes have about trauma counselling is that they'll have to revisit every painful detail of what happened.

You don't.

You decide what you share and when you share it.

There may be times when talking about past experiences feels helpful.

At other times, our work might focus much more on what's happening in your life and relationships now.

We work at your pace.

You don't have to prove that what happened was traumatic enough.

You don't have to remember everything.

And you don't need to tell your story perfectly.

We can begin wherever you are.

Trauma Counselling in Plymouth & Online

I offer attachment-based integrative counselling in Plymouth and online across the UK for adults affected by trauma, PTSD, complex trauma, difficult childhood experiences and relationship difficulties.

Our work can provide a safe and supportive space to understand your experiences, recognise the ways you've learnt to protect yourself and gradually develop different ways of relating to yourself and others.

We can begin with a 45-minute initial consultation for £40, either in person or online. This gives us an opportunity to meet, explore what's been happening for you and discuss how we might work together.

There is no pressure or obligation to continue afterwards.

What happened to you may be part of your story, but it doesn't have to write every chapter that comes next.